Tim Allen
17 quotes
Biography
Timothy Alan Dick, known professionally as Tim Allen, is an American actor and comedian. He is known for playing Tim "The Toolman" Taylor on the ABC sitcom Home Improvement (1991–1999) for which he won a Golden Globe Award and Mike Baxter on the ABC/Fox sitcom Last Man Standing (2011–2021).
"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom."
"While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously."
"Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything."
"Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."
"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."
"I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car."
"In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers."
"In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship."
"I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It's not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I'll do it because it's a moment that will stick with me forever."
"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."
"I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."
"In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship."
"Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me."
"Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon."
"In the last three years of racing I've met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it's the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best."
"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison."
"My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best."