Portrait by Yousef Karsh (1976)
Born: 16 March 1926, Newark, New Jersey
Jerry Lewis quotes:
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- A few years ago, I thought I might open a chain of eulogy stores where you could go in off the street and, for twenty bucks, they'll tell you all the nice things they're going to say about you after you croak. But I don't want people to say wonderful things about me when I can't hear them. Tell me now, while I'm still here. permalink
- A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world. permalink
- Adrenaline is wonderful. It covers pain. It covers dementia. It covers everything. permalink
- Although, when you have a charity that's dealing with life and death today ... something that's really imminent, it's tough to tell other people what to do. permalink
- Don't come telling anybody they're wrong until you can tell them how they can be right. permalink
- Ego is necessary. permalink
- Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. permalink
- Going unnoticed has never been my strong suit. permalink
- I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope. permalink
- I don't like any female comedians. Seeing a woman in comedy sets me back a bit.... I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies into the world. permalink
- I get paid for what most kids get punished for. permalink
- I had a box of Kleenex and I'm bawling like a child and I'm not believing it. If I had the slightest chance of helping them a little, how do you not? ... These people are in trouble now. permalink
on relief for hurrican Katrina victims (September 2005)
- I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already. permalink
- I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct. permalink
- I performed for six presidents. I met nine. One of my most prized possessions is a plaque Jack Kennedy gave me that says, "There are three things that are real: God, human folly, and laughter. Since the first two are beyond our comprehension, we must do the best we can with the third." permalink
text on plaque from Aubrey Menen’s "The Ramayana"
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