James Douglas Muir "Jay" Leno
Photo by Lee Stranahan (18 July 2008)
Born: 28 April 1950, New Rochelle, New York
Leno's mother immigrated from Scotland, his father was born to immigrants from Italy. He was raised at Andover, Massachusetts where his high school guidance counselor recommended he drop out. He earned a Bachelor's degree in speech therapy at Emerson College at Boston, where he started a comedy club. In the late '70s he opened for musical acts including Tom Jones and John Denver. Leno served as a substitute host on The Tonight Show starting in 1987 and replaced Johnny Carson as host in 1992. He was hospitalized for exhaustion in April 2009, the two shows that were canceled were the only two he missed in his seventeen years. At the end of his contract in 2009, NBC signed a new contract with Leno to create a show for the ten o'clock slot, with Conan O'Brien taking over The Tonight Show. Both hosts had disappointing ratings in the new format and NBC paid off O'Brien to put Leno back on The Tonight Show. His car collection includes several Duesenbergs, a 1912 Stanley Steamer, a 1918 Stutz Bearcat, a McLaren F1, and others totaling over a hundred, one of the largest individually-owned collections. He writes regular columns for several automotive magazines, is on the advisory board for McPherson College's auto restoration program. His EcoJet is a custom vehicle designed in collaboration with General Motors, a two seater with 650 horsepower turbine fueled by biodiesel. It is believed that Leno's ticket for driving the Stanley Steamer at 78 miles per hour was the oldest car ever cited for speeding on an Interstate.
Additional quotes from Wikiquote. Wikiquote entries are "sourced" and may include items longer than those included here, particularly for poets, lyricists, and dramatists.
Jay Leno quotes:
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- A historic operation occurred over in Boston. Doctors successfully transplanted tissue from a pig's brain to a man's brain — and the man's brain did not reject it. That pretty much confirms what women have been saying about men. permalink
monologue (25 April 1995)
- A new study finds that women use their whole brain when listening and men only use half of their brain. You see, men use the other half of their brain to come up with excuses. I don't think women use their whole brain when listening. I think they use half of it and the other half is used to memorize what men are saying so they can use it against them 10 years later! permalink
- According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it. permalink
- Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate. permalink
- And some sad news: the first lesbian couple to legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited irreconcilable similarities. permalink
monologue (24 July 2006)
- Comedy is the only profession where love from a stranger is better than love from a family member. You need to perform for strangers to see if you're really funny. If they laugh and cheer, it's the greatest thing in the world. permalink
Jay Leno's How to Be the Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World (or Just in Your Class) (2007)
- Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. permalink
- For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza! permalink
- For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. permalink
- Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas, and Bill Clinton. permalink
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. permalink
- Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances. permalink
- Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? permalink
- I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking. permalink
- I saw something stupid in the paper today. A new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people who don't like loud noises. Instead, it slowly hits you with light and gets brighter and brighter until you wake up. I already have one of those, ... it's called a window. permalink
monologue (14 February 2001)
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