portrait of Erma Bombeck
Promotional photo (c) 1993 by Steven Van Warner

All archives
Previous Issue (18 February 2003) | Current month | Next Issue (22 February 2003)

Quotes of the Day for 21 February 2003 – Erma Louise Bombeck

Erma Louise Bombeck was born at Dayton, Ohio on this day in 1927. She started her career in journalism right out of high school, taking time off for college and later took time to raise a family. With her final return to newspapers everywhere, she became one of the most astute, and possibly the most amusing, observer of the modern family. Today I've chosen quotes from her on housekeeping. As a lackluster housekeeper at best, my hat is always off to Erma - probably on the floor somewhere.

Van's signature

You will find an expanded profile, photo, additional biographical links, and all quotes from this author on the author's Notable Quotable page.

The quotes:

Education is so important when it comes to domesticity. I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop offs at tedium and counter productivity.

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you?

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there's a wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
     - All from Erma Louise Bombeck, 1927 - 1996

Do you see an error on this page? A typo, a character that is messed up, a misattribution? Please let us know!