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Quotes of the Day for 31 January 2001 – Computers

I got a new computer yesterday, and it's sleek and fast and wonderful. At least I'm sure it will be when I get all my programs installed and figure out the incompatibilities. Some (supposedly) humorous thoughts on Computers.

Van's signature

The quotes:

Computers are the tools of the devil. It is as simple as that. There is no monotheism strong enough that it cannot be shaken by Unix or any Microsoft product. The devil is real. He lives inside C programs.
     - Philip Greenspun

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
     - Mitch Ratliffe

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
     - Nathaniel Borenstein

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
     - Joseph Campbell

Computers can now keep a man's every transgression recorded in a permanent memory bank, duplicating with complex programming and intricate wiring a feat his wife handles quite well without fuss or fanfare.
     - Lane Olinghouse

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